


In Memoriam

by msraven



Series: Trope Bingo Round 3 Blackout [19]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Feels, Friendship, M/M, Not quite a fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:39:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1470160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msraven/pseuds/msraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what he wanted us to remember of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Memoriam

**Author's Note:**

> Written quickly and not beta'd. All of my feels after watching Cap2 were for Jasper and I needed to get them out.
> 
> Also fills the deathfic square on my trope_bingo card.

Phil is finishing the last scan when he hears the barely-there scrape of a foot across the floor. He quickly puts down the scanner and draws his gun, leveling it at the door. He holds his breath and then releases it in a rush when he sees the familiar point of an arrowhead.

"Clint."

Clint drops his arm, the mini crossbow retracting neatly against his wrist as he steps fully into the room. "Phil."

"What are you doing here?"

"Trying to figure out how one of my best friends could be a traitor without my knowing it. You?"

"For much the same reason."

Phil picks up the scanner Fitz had given him and finishes up the section of wall he'd been working on. Clint moves to stand beside him as the scanner blinks negative once again.

"Haven't found anything?" Clint asks.

"Nothing." 

"My turn," Clint says and walks out of the bedroom they've been standing in. He stops in the hallway, his eyes glancing around quickly. Phil recognizes it as Clint judging distances in a way only Hawkeye can and waits. 

After a few seconds, Clint moves about a foot to his left and kneels down to place a small object on the floor. He looks over and grins at Phil.

"No offense to your science babies, but Stark and Banner have many more years of experience on their side." Clint touches the side of the device and it emits four pulses of muted, purple light. 

"JARVIS?" Clint asks with a tap to the watch on his wrist. 

"I have received the data and am analyzing now. There appears to be a hidden compartment within the door of the refrigerator, shielded so I am not able to ascertain what's inside. The release is approximately a third of the way up the height of the door and behind the removable shelf."

"Thanks JARVIS. I'll take it from here."

They walk over to the kitchen together, opening the refrigerator door and removing the shelf. There is a small button that clicks immediately when Clint depresses it.

"No lock. Not very secure," Phil comments warily.

"No need to lock something if people don't know it's there."

"Good point." 

Clint starts to lift the panel and then pauses, looking over at Phil. "Hopefully no need to booby trap it either?"

"I can cross my fingers if you'd like," Phil shrugs, "but it looks like a fairly small compartment and I'm hoping JARVIS would have detected anything volatile around it if it's there."

Clint shrugs as well and opens the hidden panel. Inside is a small, waterproof envelope.

"Let's take it over to the table," Phil suggests.

They take the envelope over to the small kitchen table and open it to find a small stack of pictures. Clint fans them out on the table's surface and then leans against it with a frustrated sigh.

"I don't get it. Why would Jasper hide these?"

The pictures are of happier times. Jasper with Clint or Phil or Maria, even a few with Natasha and Fury. They are moments of laughter and friendship, captured in still images that now make Phil's heart ache. He picks up a picture he remembers taking, of Clint with his arm around Jasper, both men grinning and barely recognizable through the layer of blue slime that covers them both. 

"I don't know," Phil whispers in response.

"I can't make myself believe he was a traitor, not Jasper. He was my friend, someone I trusted. He's the reason I got out of SHIELD and went to work for Stark, somewhere safe. Fury wanted to me to stay, but he didn't see what was going on in the ranks. Jasper was the one who watched my back, helped me fight off the other agents when they tried to attack me."

"You had agents attack you?" Phil asks in horror.

"More than once. They didn't know how to separate the man who'd been under Loki's control from the man they once knew. Jasper was the one who convinced me that it was time to leave SHIELD before it became something I no longer recognized."

"Wait, what? Did he… Jasper told me the same thing after they brought me back. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, especially because the director insisted on keeping me a secret from you and the other Avengers. Jasper suggested the new team and the request for autonomy, said that it was a good opportunity to create a corner of SHIELD I still recognized."

Clint reaches out to brush his fingers against a picture of the three of them laughing together as they hopped off an evac chopper after a successful op. Clint's voice is rough with unshed tears when he speaks. 

"He got us clear. We may never know if he was a Hydra agent or not, but Jasper was a good friend." Clint looks over at Phil with a watery smile. "He must have known things had the potential to blow up and Jasper did everything he could to keep us out of the blast zone."

"Jasper knew we'd be the only ones who'd come here. This is what he wanted us to remember of him."

Clint glances back at the pictures laid out on the table and moves a few aside to reveal one that Jasper's not in. It's a picture Jasper had taken of Clint and Phil. They're at a bar during some rare downtime, with love clear in their eyes and their smiles as they share a moment of peace. Phil has a copy of the picture hidden in a drawer of his desk on the Bus.

"Jasper also told me to give you another chance. That everyone makes bad decisions, that life was too short to push away the people that really matter. At the time, I was too hurt and angry to listen."

"Clint…" Phil says shakily, his heart speeding up as hope builds at Clint's words. He takes a deep breath and finally says the words he's kept at bay all these months. "I love you. I _still_ love you. I know that what I did was unforgivable and it's selfish me to expect it of you, but I'm asking you to listen to Jasper and give me another chance. I chose SHIELD over you and I chose wrong. If you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of our lives proving to you that you will always come first."

"I love you too, Phil. I never stopped."

Phil doesn't let him say anything else before he's pulling Clint into his arms. He clutches at Clint, who grips back just as desperately. Phil never imagined that his search for answers would bring him the one bright light he had left among the destruction of everything else he knows. 

"Oh thank God."

"Oh thank Jasper," Clint corrects and their combined laughter is a salve on their grieving hearts.

Phil may no longer recognize the world they're living in, but this—the man in his arms and forever in his heart—is something he knows and will never forget again. He sends up a silent prayer of thanks to the man who somehow orchestrated their reunion from the grave. Whatever his other failings, whatever truth may remain hidden about his loyalties, Jasper Sitwell will forever be their friend.

_Thank you, Jasper. You will be missed._

~ fin ~


End file.
